Lynda was presenting at a women’s conference recently about Money and Mindset. At the end of the presentation she was asked this question, “my daughter is in a new relationship, when she should talk to the new boyfriend about money?”
“As soon as possible!!” she said.
Just let me clarify. You certainly wouldn’t talk about your financial situation or expectations on a first or maybe even your sixth date! But once the toothbrush starts moving and you are planning further ahead than just the movies or dinner next week, the relationship is looking a little more serious. Continue reading →
When we think of financial abuse the picture that pops into your mind is probably the same as mine; the elderly person with over aggressive family members (or carers) forcing them to hand over their savings and leaving them with nothing.
This does happen, unfortunately it features in the media all too often. But there is also another, maybe even darker type of financial abuse happening and that’s to intelligent women (~70% of financial abuse cases are women). They are left with nothing because their partners have financially abused them and left. Continue reading →
This may seem an odd question, but it is one I ask all the couples we work with and invariably they look at each other and say, “probably our parents.”
Then I see their eyes light up as they realise how exciting it will be when they are living their own lives and making their own choices.
By now you are probably imaging a couple who live at one of their parent’s home and are still supported by Mum and Dad. Surely that must be what I mean when I ask are you living your relationship. But no, that isn’t what I mean. Let me explain. Continue reading →
It is hard to gauge exactly how much of a factor arguing about money contributes to relationship breakdown, but along with sex, it is pretty high on the list. Lack of trust and communication are at the heart of both issues.
As a money mentor, I frequently meet couples that just don’t talk about money. I was catching up with a girlfriend over a coffee and happened to mention this to her and she was quite surprised. “Bill and I talk about money all the time.”
There was a few seconds silence (while taking a bite of her scone) then she said, “no you’re right, we don’t talk about money, we yell at each other about money.”
Why is this? Well sometimes the arguments are really about money, but money arguments can also mask other issues within the relationship. This is because we attach emotions and meanings to money that really has nothing to do with 1+1=2.
So if you are yelling at each other about money, listen very carefully for any underlying issues.