We’ve read the stories in the media about financial infidelity where one partner has run off with the couple’s life savings, or has mortgaged the house without their partner’s knowledge to pay a tax bill. That is, until the bailiff comes knocking.
The other week, calls to a morning radio show around financial infidelity were hilarious – you had to laugh otherwise you would have cried! Continue reading →
When we think of financial abuse the picture that pops into your mind is probably the same as mine; the elderly person with over aggressive family members (or carers) forcing them to hand over their savings and leaving them with nothing.
This does happen, unfortunately it features in the media all too often. But there is also another, maybe even darker type of financial abuse happening and that’s to intelligent women (~70% of financial abuse cases are women). They are left with nothing because their partners have financially abused them and left. Continue reading →
If you aren’t getting the results you want in an area of your life, take a look at your behaviours. Are they helping you or hindering you? If you are up for the challenge take a step further back and examine the underlying belief that is generating the behaviour.
If you really want to make changes in your life, this is a very important equation to learn and more importantly, to implement.
My clients challenge me on this and ask, “Why should I examine my beliefs? I just want to spend less/save more.”
A belief is an assumed truth that we then make our reality; our beliefs become self fulfilling prophecies. So if life is going well for us then our beliefs are working and we don’t need or want to examine them; we may not even be aware of what the underlying belief is.
Let’s look at an example. I have a belief that exercise is good for me. So even though it occasionally causes me physical pain (particularly after a personal training session), I don’t question or challenge my belief because I know I have more energy on the days that I exercise and I know my health is much better than my pre-exercise days. My belief is working for me. Continue reading →
Our beliefs, or our view of the world starts with our early childhood memories. We learn from our parents, our environment and form our own beliefs from those observations. So what are your earliest memory’s of money? How do you think that has impacted on how you relate to money now in your adult life?
My earliest memories of money revolve around the word ‘No’. No I couldn’t have the umbrella with the pink frill; the must have winter fashion accessory for a 4 year old. No, I couldn’t have a Barbie doll, they were too expensive, so I got the imitation one instead.
My parents were (and still are) very careful with their money, they were quite frugal in day to day expenditure but that meant that there was money set aside for our holidays and should any emergency crop up.
Their goal was to be mortgage free, as they hated any sort of debt and over the years they achieved that goal.
Why is money such a complicated subject? It should be straight forward shouldn’t it? But there are two sides to money: money the thing, it’s about maths. The other side, well this is where it gets complicated. Go and have a look in the mirror, who do you see? Yourself. That is why money gets complicated.
The maths side is easy. You know how much you earn. You know how much you spend (well, you should do). You know how much of it you save. If you subtract what you earn from what you spend and what you save you have either a positive or negative number at the end. Simple!
We (that’s that person in the mirror again) complicate money because we add meaning and emotion. We tell ourselves a story about money and you know what, we are all great authors when it comes to our money stories!
Now, I know this may be getting into the realms of ‘touchy feely’ but before you can really knuckle under and start making money be just about maths and getting ahead, you need to understand what stories you are telling yourself about money then you can change the ending. Continue reading →