We use Money to communicate.

Why is money such a complicated subject?  It should be straight forward shouldn’t it?  But there are two sides to money: money the thing, it’s about maths.  The other side, well this is where it gets complicated.  Go and have a look in the mirror, who do you see?  Yourself.  That is why money gets complicated.

Alfa The maths side is easy. You know how much you earn.  You know how much you spend (well, you should do). You know how much of it you save.  If you subtract what you earn from what you spend and what you save you have either a positive or negative number at the end. Simple!

We (that’s that person in the mirror again) complicate money because we add meaning and emotion.  We tell ourselves a story about money and you know what, we are all great authors when it comes to our money stories!

Now, I know this may be getting into the realms of ‘touchy feely’ but before you can really knuckle under and start making money be just about maths and getting ahead, you need to understand what stories you are telling yourself about  money then you can change the ending. Continue reading

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Money or Time?

Quite a dilemma isn’t it.  We work hard to earn the money to give us the good things in life but then we don’t have the time to enjoy them because we are working too hard.  Bit of a chicken and egg scenario.

clock compressed

When we think about what we are trading (or compromising) for money, time tends to be the first thing that pops into our head.  The 40hr working week that our forebears fought so hard to get seems to be a distant memory.

I received an email from a client at 11pm she was still in the office (she arrived at 7am) and would be back at 7am the following morning.  She has two children who she feels spend more time with the babysitter than they do with her.  But she is building her career in a profession that expects that kind of commitment.  Whilst she loves her work, she is really concerned about missing time with her children as well.  So why does she do it?  She feels she has no choice, she needs to provide for her family, and the hope of a large salary and less hours at some point in the future keeps her going.

This is a common story, not only from people on salaries, but business owners as well.  We seem to be prepared and feel we need to work long hours for some financial goal in the future. Continue reading

A new relationship. When do you talk about money?

I was presenting at a women’s conference recently about money and mindset.  At the end of the presentation I was asked this question.  “My daughter is in a new relationship, when she should talk to the new boyfriend about money?” 

money relationship compressed “As soon as possible!!” I said.

I continued: Just let me clarify what I mean.  You probably wouldn’t talk about your financial situation or expectations on a first or maybe even second date.  But once the toothbrush starts moving and you are planning further ahead than the movies or dinner next week; the relationship is looking a little more serious.  Maybe you are planning a holiday away together.  Whatever the trigger is for you that gets you thinking things are moving beyond the dating stage and a longer term relationship is looking likely then you need to have a conversation about money management.

Money can cause huge stress in a relationship.  It is hard to pin down the statistics, but some reports say that up to 70% of relationship breakup is due to money.  So get it out in the open early.  Continue reading

Instant Gratification: the other side of the story.

Earlier this week I wrote a blog on Instant Gratification.  Just like the movie Sliding Doors, the story can have a different ending…..

Twelve months ago, I had a Freddy Mercury moment. “I want it and I want it now”.  What was the object of my desire? A red leather lounge suite.

leather compressed

It would look perfect in our house, not that there was anything wrong with the lounge suite that we had, but the red leather was divine.  It wouldn’t just enhance the room, it would transform it.

We weren’t even looking to buy new furniture, it was one of those moments when you walk past a shop and something grabs your attention, next minute you’re in the shop chatting to the salesman like he is a long-lost friend.

I did all the things that I tell my clients to do when impulse kicks in.  Walk away, give yourself time to assess whether this is a Need or Want.  What is the opportunity cost of the purchase?  Is the purchase worth it in terms of our longer term goals?  We looked at the price tag and decided we weren’t prepared to pay that price.  So we didn’t buy it. Continue reading

Instant Gratification: I want it and I want it now!

Twelve months ago, I had a Freddy Mercury moment. “I want it and I want it now”.

What was the object of my desire? A red leather lounge suite.

leather compressed

It would look perfect in our house, not that there was anything wrong with the lounge suite that we had, but the red leather was divine.  It wouldn’t just enhance the room, it would transform it.

We weren’t even looking to buy new furniture, it was one of those moments when you walk past a shop and something grabs your attention, so you go in to have a closer look.

I did all the things that I tell my clients to do when impulse kicks in.  Walk away, give yourself time to assess whether this is a Need or Want.  What is the opportunity cost of the purchase?  Is the purchase worth it in terms of our longer term goals?  We looked at the price tag and decided we weren’t prepared to pay that price.  So we didn’t buy it. Continue reading

Personal finance: Money can be a bullying weapon – Fresno Bee

See on Scoop.itmoney management

Personal finance: Money can be a bullying weapon
Fresno Bee
One in 10 respondents say their spouse or partner is a financial bully, according to a recent survey by CreditKarma.com, a personal finance website based in San Francisco.

Moneyseeker‘s insight:

I am not surprised at the number of respondents who say they are bullied financially.  I see it in relationships that have ended and the couple are trying to sort out who gets what, cutting off the funds is one way to bring things to a head and settle the relationship property.

If this is happening in your current relationship then it is not healthy and it needs to be dealt with.

Communication is the key.  You need to understanding each others roles and contribution to the family, set some boundaries for household spending and most  importantly realise that we each have our own personal beliefs arround money and they may not be the same as our partners, so compromise is required.

But as with any other type of bullying asking for help is always the hardest step to take.

See on www.fresnobee.com

Are you Keeping up with the Joneses?

Conspicuous spending or Keeping up with the Joneses and using money as a status symbol used to be thought of as the prerogative of the rich and famous, well not anymore.

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Why do we feel the need to keep up with the Jones?  I see it frequently with clients when I am mentoring them. “We couldn’t possibly cancel the holiday, it wouldn’t look good”.  So what!  What is more important looking good or staying afloat financially? Well, it seems for many people it is looking good.

I have just finished reading a novel, The Deaths, by Mark Lawson, there are a number of really great one liners (no I won’t spoil the plot by telling you this one), it is my favourite: Continue reading