Why do we Fight about Money?

Do you understand why you fight with your partner about money?

Even between couples, money is a very difficult topic to talk about.  A friend of mine told me, she and her husband talk about money all the time, then she thought about it for a bit longer and then said, no we don’t talk about money we yell at each other about money.

Fight over money

Sometimes the arguments are really about money, but the money arguments can also mask other issues within the relationship, so if you are yelling at each other about money, listen very carefully for any underlying issues.

The main reason couples fight about money is that they haven’t had the money conversation.  It is much easier to avoid it than to take the time to understand each other’s money beliefs; they just see each other’s money behaviour, which if different from your own can create conflict.thin the relationship, so if you are yelling at each other about money, listen very carefully for any underlying issues.

We bring our own personal beliefs about money into our relationships.  For example you may believe that debt is fine, it doesn’t matter if you don’t pay the credit card bill off each month, and money is there to be enjoyed.  On the other hand, your partner may have the belief that money is to be saved and not frittered away on ‘stuff’, if you don’t have the money in the bank, you don’t spend.

If you haven’t discussed these two completely different beliefs about money and found some middle ground that you can both work with, you will have conflict.

The best way to stop fighting about money with your partner is to take the time to have a conversation about money; who is going to run the household finances? How are you going to structure your income (joint or separate bank accounts)? What are your different beliefs about money and how are you going to work together as a team?

ACTION: If you are fighting about money, determine if the fight is really about money or is it something else.  Take some time out to have the money conversation, what are your personal beliefs about money, what annoys you about your partner’s money behaviour, find some compromise and middle ground that you can both work with.

Now watch our video in which Lynda Moore explains

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